Friday the 13th

One more week till my college days are over. It's hard to believe that everything is really coming to an end. I remember this time last year when I was saying how I can't believe I only have one year left and now I have one week left. Graduation is in two weeks, so I have to decide what dress I want to wear! I still have to work on some finals, so this weekend I'm going to have to buckle down and whip down my final works. Not only have I been preoccupied by the fact that it's nearly over... I feel slightly lost and empty inside - that's why I haven't been blogging much. Generally, I am excited to leave and start anew in New York City, but I can't help but feel lost... empty... uninspired. What a time to feel uninspired, when I'm about to leave San Francisco? I should be cherishing every moment and capturing them, but I just feel so empty.

I've been falling behind my posts and reading blogs, which is causing this wave of negativity, but I will overcome it, because I have to. I have no choice, these are my final weeks in San Francisco and I'm going to enjoy myself. Today is the 13th, which means this time next month I will be in New York. On Tuesday, I handed in my one month notice. I've been selling my clothes at Crossroads and Buffalo to reduce the amount of stuff to ship cross-country. I have to start packing things and tossing out things, so I don't leave it till last minute. My parents will be visiting and attending the graduation ceremony and then we'll be visiting L.A. for three days. I've never been to L.A., but I'm excited to finally see and experience it. We're going to go on the Universal Studio tour and I've always wanted to see the Hollywood sign. How cliche of me?

I guess it's really starting to hit me. I feel trapped between feeling underwhelmed and overwhelmed. I'm feeling everything and nothing at the same time. What saddens me most is saying goodbye to my friends. Of course I'm going to be sad and I might be a wreck when we say goodbye, but I know that it isn't goodbye forever. Because at the beginning of the week, I had this brilliant idea of visiting San Francisco in July. I've applied to 50+ jobs since early April and I haven't heard back from anyone, I'm still applying to jobs and hopefully by the time I get to New York, I can at least get hired to do freelance jobs, so hopefully I'll get some pay and I'll save up and fly to San Francisco. I know this plan really depends on me finding a job and getting paid, but I am confident that I will get a job from Craigslist. Of course my main goal is to find work sponsorship and I will, but for now, I just need to earn some money. Wish me luck!

Hopefully before the semester ends, I can squeeze in some photo shoots with Caro. Sadly, she's leaving early, which saddens me. I hope we can spend some time together before she leaves! I'm going to miss that girl so much. After graduation, my parents and I are going to L.A. on the 29th and coming back on the 1st and Shy leaves on the 31st, which means I'll be saying goodbye to her before she leaves. I really don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. Once classes are over, I'm going to spend some quality time with my friends! I love you guys so much. Must work on finals, catch up on blogs and return comments!