2012 New Year's Resolutions

secondhand matisse book, the perks of being a wallflower birthday gift from marissa, red moleskine: my memoir, flowerbomb by viktor & rolf - my new scent, my fuck love locket from brooklyn charm, casio gold watch

I was looking over my resolutions from 2011 and it surprises me how bad I am at keeping resolutions. As the years go on, the essential resolutions remain the same and yet I have so much trouble keeping with them. I always tell myself to exercise more and do yoga, but I've been singing the same song for four years now and I have yet to step into a yoga studio. But I was talking to my friend Jane and I've decided this year I will definitely start yoga. She told me about Yoga to the People in the East Village which is based on donations, so I'm going. Finally.

I always tell myself to spend less money and save up and eat in more, but I always have trouble in these departments. But 2012 is the year I have to become more budget conscious. I am making my own short film, which means I absolutely need to stay in budget and this should help me out with my own personal budgeting issues.

I have compiled a list of resolutions and goals for 2012 and I look forward to looking back on them at the end of the year. I hope this year, I will accomplish more and be more proactive and productive. I need to participate more, as Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflowers keeps talking about. I am participating in 2012!

#1. Focus on career. Don't find love. I told myself last year not to find love and guess what? I didn't find "love" or anything near the fanciful idea, but I'm so glad to be living my life and dream in New York and being single is part of the whole experience. I have decided that I'm probably going to be single for a long time, because I need to focus on myself, my career and my future and I have no time for any romantic entanglements. And the truth is that there are no prospects, but hey, that works for me. It's not like a man in my life would make me feel fulfilled, so I don't need or want a man in my life.

I'm at the point of my life where I get to really experience life and enjoy the moments of self discovery and no one can taint this experience for me. I have realized that if I were with someone and something bad happened, those memories would forever be tainted and I would feel resentment towards those moments. I am glad that no one can ruin these first New York memories and adventures. I (HEART) NEW YORK!

#2. Exercise: yoga and kickboxing. I have been ranting on and on about yoga for years. I would pick up an old journal from 2008 and that's when I first decided that I wanted to do yoga. Four years have gone by and I still haven't stepped into a yoga studio yet. But this will all change this year, because I am finally in the right mindset to take on yoga. Believe it or not, but (I heard) yoga is a very intense physical workout. I'm sure a lot of people out there enjoy yoga. 2011 was all about building thick skin in order to survive this brutal city and now I just need a physical outlet to de-stress. Emotionally, I've become stronger, but now I need my body to feel the same kind of empowerment. I am so ready for you, yoga.

#3. Spend less money and save up. Self explanatory.

#4. Be better at staying in touch with friends. Since I've moved to New York, now I have five sets of friends: Hong Kong, Benenden, London, San Francisco and now New York friends. It's moments like this when I am thankful for Facebook, because it does make keeping in touch a lot easier. But at the end of the day, I have to put in the effort. I hope to be better at keeping in touch with people I care about.

#5. Make my short film. I am finally going to write, produce and direct my own short film. I'm going to publish my online funding campaign with Indie Go Go by the end of this week. After interning and working on four feature films, I'm finally ready to take on the task of producing my own short film. I don't think I was even close to being ready or mentally prepared, but now I have built the mental strength and knowledge to embark on this journey. I know that it's going to be a challenging and ambitious project, but I'm ready to be proactive. I am ready to make this all a reality.

#6. (Still haven't) watch(ed) all Woody Allen movies. Self explanatory.

#7. Keep up with blog and respond to comments. Self explanatory.

#8. Paint and sketch. After going to see the Stieglitz and his Artists: Matisse to O'Keeffe exhibition at The Met on Monday, it sparked my desire to paint and sketch again. I want to start painting with watercolors and I want to draw with crayons and pastels. I just need to be more crafty with my hands, because so much of my life is technology oriented and I just want to work more with my hands and produce art. I was so mesmerized (as usual) by Matisse's color palette and the beautiful paintings of John Marin, Paul Signac, Charles Demuth, Arthur Dove and Abraham Walkowitz.

#9. Take up a new hobby. I've always wanted to learn to play the acoustic guitar, but I have a hard enough time playing the bass guitar, I don't know if I can handle two more strings. If I stay in the U.S. (which I hope I do), I will buy a second hand acoustic guitar and learn to play it. I need music in my life and unfortunately, I wasn't gifted with a musical inclination, but I'll always enjoy listening to music and hopefully one day, I will be able to somewhat play the guitar. I also want to take singing lessons. Maybe. We'll see.

#10. Cook more. Self explanatory.

#11. Read a book a week/every two weeks. Last year, I discovered the true joy of reading. I compiled my reading list, which was based off BBC's reading list. I purchased a few of the books from the list, but I have yet to go through them. I've really come to enjoy reading and it will take time to become a faster reader, but I know I will get there. I look forward to expanding my literary knowledge and book collection.

#12. Read TIME, The New Yorker, Monocle and The Economist. I have decided that I need to be more aware and how will I become more aware? I need to start reading current affairs magazines. Last week, I picked up TIME Magazine for the first time of my life. It was an empowering moment. I have decided that I need to be more update to the on goings of the world. This is the year.

#13. Read the news every day. Self explanatory.

#14. Go to more museums and exhibitions. I visited the MOMA once in July last year and then the Met on Monday. This is unacceptable, since I live in the heart of art and culture. I need to visit the MOMA again and I'll need to return to the Met at least four times, because that place is huge and they always have new exhibitions. I still need to go to the Whitney, Guggenheim, Museum of Natural History, Brooklyn Museum, etc. etc.

#15. Design textile(s) with Inez. More on that later.

#16. Discover new bands and songs every month. Create a music mix every month. Self explanatory.

#17. Start observing Analog Sunday again. Last year, I introduced the idea of Analog Sunday into my lifestyle. At the beginning, it was relatively easy to adhere to, but then it just became impossible. Which is upsetting, because I love the idea behind it and I need to take a one day break from technology once a week. This year, I will observe Analog Sunday until the end of the year, unless I absolutely need to use my laptop if it's work related. Other than work reasons, I shall not use technology for the entire day. Instead, I will paint, draw, read, write, play scrabble, play with my Rubik's cube, play chess, take a walk, go to a museum, go see a movie at the Angelika, Nighthawk, Sunshine, IFC Center or Film Forum etc. I'm excited again!

#18. Keep up with my Instagram. And post a round up at the end of every month. I also need to take more photos of New York, because New York is my muse. I've also decide to paint and sketch New York landscapes, because I feel so inspired by this glorious and wondrous city. I feel so inspired by this city and I need to document it as much as possible.

#19. Live more. Participate. Life is moving so quickly and sometimes I feel like I'm just a spectator. I'm constantly people watching and imagining what their lives are like. I'm inside my own head way too often and I've realized that I need to participate more in my own life and life itself. I need to stop being a spectator and really be out there and doing something with my life. I hope this year I will be more fearless, productive and proactive.

#20. Do things out of my comfort zone, without compromising my integrity. Same as the previous, but really be fearless and courageous and step outside my comfort zone, but without compromising my integrity. At the end of the day, I want to look back at my accomplishments and feel proud of myself and the type of self assurance that is well deserved. I will keep my moral compass intact for as long as I shall live.