Someday 🌹

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday."

Alive

Today I listened to this song over twenty times. I had an emotional roller coaster of a day. There were so many ups and downs, but this song was playing in my head and on my phone over and over again, so I feel alive! The song Alive makes me feel alive! The music video makes the song even more epic. It's such a beautifully shot video in Bryce Canyon National Park and the redwoods of California. 

All day, I was experiencing happiness, sadness, anger and fear, but not disgust (anyone see Inside Out, get the reference?). It can't get anymore emotional than a day of juggling all these emotions that leave you feeling more alive than ever. Plus it rained and thunder-stormed all day and therefore, it made me feel so acutely aware of my existence. All my senses were extremely heightened, so I had this hyper energy emanating from me. And I'm sure people at work just thought I was acting weird or bizarre. 

I don't care if people think I'm weird or lame, because people's perception of me doesn't define me. I am who I am and I'm 100% confident of who I am and no one can make me feel inferior. So I'm embracing who I am and my hyper energy and I'm going to feel alive. Be alive. Stay alive. Enjoy being alive. Live.

Days go by my window

World slows down as it goes

Goodbye to last night

Lost my eyesight

Can't you help me see 

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive 

Waking in the snow

Tracing steps with you

Swimming through the snow

Wrapped in velvet

Can't you help me see (they won't get right) 

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

Can you feel it's call through me

I'm the one that you seek

All you need is so much, I'm just waiting on 

Freedom is within you

Giving makes us feel good

Hello to my people

Say hello to the future

Freedom is within you

Giving makes us feel good

Hello to our ṗeople

Say hello to the future 

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive

Loving every minute 'cause you make me feel so alive, alive, alive, alive

Irises and Roses

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." ― Vincent van Gogh

There is a fascinating story behind these stunning flowers. Vincent van Gogh's blooming optimism led to these still life paintings of irises and roses. Painted on the eve of his departure from the asylum at Saint-Rémy, he carefully and skillfully created this series as an ensemble. While working on these paintings, he wrote to his mother, "But for one's health, as you say, it is very necessary to work in the garden and see the flowers growing." And last weekend, I was fortunate to lay eyes on these flowers at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

There is something so mesmerizing about flowers. Flowers were the subject of many of Van Gogh's paintings. As said to his brother, "You will see that by making a habit of looking at Japanese pictures you will come to love to make up bouquets and do things with flowers all the more." To his sister, Wil, Van Gogh advised her to cultivate her own garden, like Voltaire's Candide, to find joy and meaning in life." Flowers signify all the joy of life, flowers signify spring, life and rebirth. 

Notice the vibrant and complementary colors of each flowers. Violet complements yellow and pink complements green. Irises are a popular flower in Japan and roses are the ubiquitous in France, therefore, the irises represent the East and roses represent the West. The series was created with harmony and balance. The vases even share the same horizon line, which is such a subtle but thoughtful detail (although it is unclear in these digital images of the paintings). There is so much color theory and technique behind these paintings, which you can read more about here and here. 

Sadly, they have lost their vibrancy over the years, but with digital re-imaging, they created what the original colors looked like. The irises that now appears to be blue was actually a deep violet and the white roses were a dreamy shade of pink. There is so much thought and design in these deceptively simple still life paintings of flowers. I'm so in awe. I can't believe these were painted in 1890. That is just so mind boggling to think this incredible human being, Vincent, painted these gorgeous flowers and now we can just look at it and be one foot away from these masterpieces. I feel so blessed.

View through rose-colored glasses

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." ― Kurt Vonnegut

Cold War

There are days that just completely wipe you out... emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. You feel physically shattered and you don't have the will or strength to hold yourself up. But after a long day, you just need to take a deep breath and remember you are alive and you need to keep striving. I think of this song, this is my anthem. This song speaks to me and perfectly expresses how I feel on a daily basis. 

This performance of Janelle Monae is so raw and vulnerable. When she starts to cry, I cry. When she breaks down at 1:41 is the moment I feel completely emotional too. I'm trying to find my peace, I was made to believe there's something wrong with me, And it hurts my heart. I think everyone knows what that feels like. I think society is always trying to make you feel inferior: you're not good enough, successful enough, rich enough, happy enough. There is so much negativity in the world and the odds are against you. But then I remind myself that against all odds, we exist. Somehow we are here in this time, this place and we have to be grateful for this chance. We evolved from dust, particles, atoms and now we're here. 

So after you're exhausted from the day, sit down, drink a glass of water, rub your feet, take a deep breath and meditate and find out who you are and what you want in life. Tell the universe what you want and fight for what you want.

This is such a powerful performance and I thank Janelle for such a raw and honest display of emotion.

So you think I'm alone?
But being alone's the only way to be
When you step outside
You spend life fighting for your sanity 

This is a cold war
You better know what you're fighting for
This is a cold war
Do you know what you're fighting for? 

If you want to be free
Below the ground is the only place to be
'Cause in this life
You spend time running from depravity 

Bring wings to the weak and bring grace to the strong
May all evil stumble as it flies in the world
All the tribes comes and the mighty will crumble
We must brave this night and have faith in love 

I'm trying to find my peace
I was made to believe there's something wrong with me
And it hurts my heart
Lord have mercy, ain't it plain to see? 

Bye, bye, bye, bye
Don't you cry when I say goodbye

I sky you... a lot!

"Can one invent verbs? I want to tell you one: I sky you, so my wings extend so large to love you without measure." ― Frida Kahlo 

Every day I need to remind myself #whyislifeworthliving, because we're constantly moving and doing and not doing and walking and breathing. It's so mentally exhausting and we lose sight of ourselves and what we truly want out of life. I don't actually meditate, but I try to spend a moment every day to be grateful for the moment, the breath I'm taking, the ground I'm standing on, the air around me, the loved ones in my life. I am so eternally grateful to see such a stunning sight. I have eyes to see this glorious sky. The glowing sky and clouds are so mesmerizing. I am alive. I am a being. I am experiencing life. I am rambling, but these are my genuine emotions, spontaneous and free flowing. I am really happy with this moment. Please live with love and joy and confidence, because you deserve to find your reason to exist in this universe.

Today is a new day

"Today is a new day. Don't let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!" ― Steve Maraboli

I Won't Let You Down

OK Go will never let me down. They understand innovation, production and imagination! When you think something is impossible, OK Go swoops in and proves you wrong. I am in awe of their talent. Thank you for inspiring us.

I taste a liquor never brewed

I taste a liquor never brewed,
From tankards scooped in pearl;
Not all the vats upon the Rhine
Yield such an alcohol! 

Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
From inns of molten blue. 

When landlords turn the drunken bee
Out of the foxglove's door,
When butterflies renounce their drams,
I shall but drink the more! 

Till seraphs swing their snowy hats,
And saints to windows run,
To see the little tippler
Leaning against the sun!

  

I taste the liquor never brewed by Emily Dickinson

I naturally feel inebriated by air. This poem reminds me to appreciate my surroundings and take a moment to soak it all in. I absolutely feel an overwhelming sense of thrill and a zest for life. I thank Irrational Man by Woody Allen for introducing to me this incredibly eloquent poem by Emily Dickinson. These beautiful words perfectly illustrate my perception of life and my way of approaching life. Love the air. Breathe the air. Breathe in the joy of life.

Inebriate of air am I...

True Facts About Sloths

After a long day, you just want to sit down and watch some funny videos. This is one of the funniest videos I've ever watched. It's the perfect combination of humor and animals and in this case, sloths! I think sloths are adorable and fascinating creatures. From watching these silly videos by Ze Frank, I have actually learned more about these animals. It's always a pleasure to get some laughs out of it.

http://www.zefrank.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/zefrank1

Don't be afraid to dream

"The God of your understanding has chosen you and you've agreed to be here in this space and time to do something, that only you can do. Now I won't stand here to try and tell you what it is. But deep inside yourself. As you take time to uncover and ask yourself some vital questions like - what is it that brings me joy? What do I love doing? What am I willing to become highly skilled at doing? What part can I play for the betterment of the society? And the world in which I want to live? When you begin to ask yourself those real questions, and it doesn't have to be done in a formal way. It can be done just like we're speaking right now. Ask yourself the question. Look at how you see yourself in just a year from now. And then go forward. And if you have children or even if you don't have children. Now you begin to look at your future beyond the space and time that you are. Now visualize exactly the way that you desire to live. Don't be afraid to dream." ― KRS-One

Pieces

A part of me feels like I'm falling to pieces. For many reasons, I feel like my life is falling apart, but I know I have the strength and resilience to handle the obstacles and hurdles. But when it comes to life and death, I've never been affected by a death until last week. It feels like a never-ending nightmare. It feels like I'm falling into a rabbit hole of shock and pain. Death is hard to comprehend, especially a sudden death.

I am reminded to be grateful to be alive. Honor your loved ones and remember and respect their memories. Tell your loved ones that you love them and care about them. Life is so precious. Don't dwell on your insecurities, anxieties and the daily stresses. Focus your energy on living better and loving harder.

I fall to pieces
I'm falling apart
I fall to pieces
When you're gone
I fall to pieces
When you're away